Monday, April 26, 2010
Love is a Science
Everyone has their own personal understanding of love. For some, being in love means being willing to sacrifice their own life, identity, and ambition. For others, being in love is a romantic idea of feeling love and sharing their life with someone. For still others, love is merely the chemical reactions in the brain that cause euphoria and a general sense of well-being. The lists go on and on.
I do not dispute the validity of any of these conceptions of love. However today, I want to offer a more universal and scientific explanation of love. I hope that it is useful and people can love better, wiser, and receive love in a manner that is more abundant and reliable than ever before.
Love is scientific. There is certainly the neurological aspect of love that affirms this claim. There is a certain special chemical cocktail cooked up by our brains that elicits the feeling of love. Through our associations of a person with this entirely internal chemical reaction, we come to believe that we are in love with that person. If that person does things that no longer elicit that feeling we can quickly fall out of love. But that is not all there is to love.
There are many types of love; the type between a parent and child, two consenting adults, puppy love, brotherly or sisterly love, etc. But at the base of it all, love is a consensus. If we reduce the complicated human interactions in love to their basic and universal unit, love is a consensus.
There are only three ways in which anything in the universe can interact: 1) they can pass (seemingly) like ships in the night without any easily observable recognition of one or the other. 2) they can collide destroying one or both parties to varying degrees. 3) they can coalesce, come together and become something new. This third possible interaction is what love is. It is a consensus to make something brand new.
The problem with love is that once these distinct entities join to make something new, entropy begins immediately and the new system starts to break down, just as the moon has been moving away from the Earth since it was created. At some point, the Earth will no longer exert such a gravitational effect on our moon and the moon will drift out of orbit. So love is hard to maintain due to entropy.
When objects gain or lose mass, gain or lose velocity, or change in their magnetic properties love is endangered. How that works for people is that we seem to grow apart. Below are some examples:
1. If one person gains mass (i.e. they get fat, earn more money, increased the size of their social network, etc.) the other person must either increase their velocity, mass, or magnetism in order to sustain the loving relationship. If they do not, the more massive ego's gravitational 'pull' (so to speak) will become inescapable and draw them in closer and closer until they were no longer distinct from the more massive person's ego; losing their individual identity. The other probability is that they would be hurled crashing into the more massive person and likely be destroyed by them.
2. If one person in a loving relationship gains velocity (i.e. they travel a lot, they don't sit still often, their emotions fluctuate rapidly, etc.) it is incumbent upon the other person to either speed up, gain mass, or increase their own magnetism. Or else the love will be ended. The slower person will be flung off, deserted into space and seeming isolation.
3. If one person's magnetism is increased (i.e. they become more attractive to others on the outside of the relationship) the other person will have to avoid colliding with the other people being drawn in. They will have to work hard to escape that person's pull so that they are not drawn into a collision and destroyed or caused to destroy the other.
Change is the only constant in the universe and if you are not flexible you cannot sustain love. If you are not willing to move away, grow, speed up or slow down, do whatever adaptations necessary to maintain love, you only have yourself to blame. Adaptation and adjustment are key to delay the inevitable disintegration of love. But you must maintain your integrity.
The primary principle in sustaining love is self-evolution. Push yourself and your partner to change for their own betterment, not for your own self-interest. Be wise in your adjustments and never force cohesion for fear of turning love to hate. Do not allow yourself to be lost in love or you will find yourself lacking love. Your only concern must be sustaining love no matter what distance comes between you. Know that love can overcome space and time.
And if possible, love infinitely, love strategically, and love without conditions.